Building and Maintaining a healthy relationship is the most rewarding yet challenging thing to maintain. Whether it’s years of relationship or a new relationship, we should not let the spark go away and keep maintaining that.
In this article we will explore the practical ways to build and sustain in the relationship. This article provides you with many Q/A sessions which will provide you a clear understanding in maintaining a healthy relationship.
To build a relationship with other people, we first have to build the relationship with ourselves. Here are some techniques that will help you to maintain relationship with yourself:
- Trust yourself
Pick a small amount of time just to see you in motion, just to test you that you will complete that or procrastinate it (work on coding your problems for 5 min everyday). - Learn your boundaries with yourself and others
Maintaining boundaries comes first when it comes to self-love. Learn your reactions such as (seething, burning, disgusted rage) when your boundaries are crossed. Say to yourself “I am having a negative sensation about them and want them to just vanish them from my life) when sensing such emotions. Study whether you become fearful or avoidant when your boundaries are crossed. - Identify your unmet needs
Under every crossed boundary is an unfulfilled need (avoiding conflict for instant peace or validation, need for approval, need for self respect) - Distance fault from responsibility
Even though it’s not your fault, it’s your responsibility to heal the shameful, less confident, self hating narrative you’ve come to adapt. You are the only one person who can look after you in any condition. - Direct line of communication with yourself
Help yourself grow, experience and learn new things, guide yourself, practice positive self talk, give feedback to yourself, challenge yourself with some tasks and celebrate small wins.
In this way you can build a positive and loving relationship with yourself, which will help in building self-love and self-compassion. Live more fulfilled life than a perfect life. People tend to seek the flawlessness and perfectionism everywhere they go but perfection is just an illusion, a path leading to self doubt and disappointment. Instead focus on something greater that make you real human and serves a purpose to your life. Be deterministic, and enjoy your self growth journey.
After you maintain a good relationship with yourself, you can maintain the relationship with others too.
Ways of maintaining Healthy relationship:
- Effective communication
When you are having conversation, listen actively when your partner is talking, showing your partner that you understand what he/she is trying to say. Participate is non-verbal communication such as, understanding him/her by their tone, body language ,etc. - Respect each other’s differences
When in relationship, one can have different point of view and opinions in certain things, when you are able to respect the differences your partner have, than you can build a healthy relationship. - Manage time for each other
Spend time together, even when you get married after long period of being in relationship, plan a date night that can be anything like eating out once a month, going some park just to sit and talk, visiting temples together, etc. - Provide support and encouragement
When in difficult time, be there for each other supporting them in their high and lows. Be each other’s rock and a comfort place to end a day. - Emotional intimacy
One of the most important aspect of building healthy relationship is emotional connection/intimacy. When you can connect with each other emotionally, can be vulnerable with each other and can be open about your emotions than you are just there maintaining a healthy relationship. - Physical intimacy
It is important to let the spark you feel the first time with each other on forever. Talk about physical affection, complement each other, say something sweet. It is important to talk openly about sex life and how important sexual intimacy is in a relationship.
What are the signs of healthy relationship?
- Strong communication
- Mutual respect
- Maintaining the healthy boundaries of each other
- Ready to compromise
- Honest to any kind of situation
What are the Red flags in relationship?
- Has difficulty explaining you what bothers him/her, expects you to guess.
- Can’t make their own decision by themselves
- If they can’t respect you than they cannot love you, love comes with respect.
- Who constantly tries to take your decision (controlling behavior)
- Who is unsure about his/her life, still figuring out about his/her life.
How can I improve communication with my partner?
- Listen actively about their thoughts.
- State your needs and expectations clearly with your partner.
- Access his/her reaction to effective communication, if he/her listens actively than bring up the conversation otherwise leave it for next time.
Types of relationships:
- Avoidant
If he/she sends mixed signals, (sometimes loving and sometimes cruel), values his/her independence greatly (for eg who talks like: I need a space, I have too much work and i don’t have much time for anyone serious and left you in confusion), Devalues you in the relationship when you are there. - Secure
Two people in a secure relationship are reliable and consistent, communicates greatly, address each other needs and work on fulfilling those needs, makes decisions with you(includes you while making any decision), talks about intimacy and physical closeness and maintain that with each other. - Anxious
If someone needs a lot of closeness in a relationship, who is insecure about you, who worries about rejection, who is unhappy when being alone. If you see such traits in your partner than you are in anxious relationship.
**Discussion Questions**
What strategies have worked for you in resolving conflict with your partner?
If you two got in a fight, who is the first to compromise and ask for forgiveness?
How do you and your partner maintain intimacy in the relationship?
We’d love to hear from you! Share your thoughts and experience in the comment below.